10 Experiences You Don't Want to Have

By Uloop Archives on July 2, 2013

I’ve had my fair share of awkward moments. No matter how much I would like to forget, I can’t help but reminisce on uncomfortable situations that are laughable and were completely unnecessary  in retrospect.

1. Attending a Greek probate and accidentally wearing the organization’s colors.

I’ve gone to a few probates my first year, and I must say, while it was fun seeing prospective members cross over to a Greek organization, I couldn’t help but feel out of place as I stood wearing either blue/white or pink/green combinations. I’ve received several stares and people walking up to me asking, “Oh, you’re an AKA?” “I didn’t know you were a Zeta!”

Then I’d proudly declare, “I’ve liked pink and green long before I came here!” And expect all to be well in the world.

No. Sorry, it doesn’t work like that. People are still going to hate. I’m not a poser. I just so happened to wear the sorority’s colors. . .the same day as the ceremony. It just happened! Should I be shunned? Maybe. But it’s not worth the effort.

I’m sure as hell not the only one. My friend accidentally did the same thing, actually. You discover the coincidence and move on.

2. The “You’re pretty. . . for a black girl” ish.

I don’t care who you are, this is not a compliment. Am I supposed to jump and give you a hug for your ignorant outburst? You want a slap on the back for admitting a black girl is cute?

When someone adds “for a black girl,” it suggests black women are generally not pretty. It’s human nature to not want to be the exception of a group that normally isn’t considered beautiful by higher standards.

Next time you feel the mighty urge to compliment a woman of color on her looks, just say she’s pretty. Period. You can’t go wrong with that.

3. Being the spokesperson for your group.

“Why do blacks vote for Obama just ’cause he’s black?”

“Tyrone, what do you know about Ghana?”

This is not okay. Whatever you do, do not put one kid on the spot in a situation or foolishly assume that because the person belongs to a particular group, they are familiar with every aspect of that culture/the community’s total way of life.

As a person who has had to “defend” the black community, and even females in social discussions, it becomes extremely uncomfortable because there’s no way I can speak for every black or every female. Both communities have a multitude of perspectives and opinions. It’s not fair to apply one person’s opinion to an entire population.

4. Running out of milk. . . having to resort to orange juice.

I was in a crazy mood for cereal one morning and was determined to bite into some cinnamon-flavored Apple Jacks. My Dad told me we were out of milk, but I didn’t care.

“I’ll just use orange juice then,” I said.

He gave me nasty look, and I don’t blame him. Nevertheless, I confidently walked over to fridge, opened the OJ, and poured it in my bowl. It looked rather odd with the green and orange cereal, but I didn’t care.

Until I took my first bite. Never again.

5. Flipping through channels with your guy cousin and a nude scene from True Blood pops up.

A couple summer’s ago, I was at my cousin’s house chilling in the family room trying to find something interesting to watch. As we were passing by the movie channels, we came across HBO and I saw Sookie’s face.

“Oh, go back!” I said.

And that’s when we saw her perky breasts staring back at us.

Ahem, next!

6. Twenty cents short in the Starbucks drive-thru.

I was running some errands and was in dire need of an afternoon pick-me-up. I want to say I ordered a grandé caramel frappuccino. As with all Starbucks, the drinks are overpriced. I thought I had a five dollar bill, but I only had four singles and two quarters. I told the cashier I was about twenty cents short and asked for a tall instead. However, the drink was already made so she let me go. Whew.

7. When people expect you to know how to twerk.

“Why don’t you twerk for us, Ashley?”

Swerve. What?

“Twerk, twerk, twerk!”

Again, just ’cause I’m black, does not mean I’m The Master Booty Gyrator. I am the farthest from the three black girls Miley is twerking with in We Can’t Stop

 

8. Can I touch your hair?

I went natural in high school and I received mixed reactions from my peers. Some people loved it and wanted to touch it- stopping me in the hallway just to rub their locker-bacteria-infested hands through my uneven texture. Two boys I distinctly remember stood directly in front of me before class and just stared at me for a good fifteen seconds. I felt like an animal on display. People thought it was weird a sixteen-year-old in this day and age would even want to subject their hair to a fro.

Well, ‘fros are awesome, so bye.

9. Running into people at the grocery store.

Let me start off by saying I hate grocery shopping. I hate it because I have to walk around with an annoying cart and say “excuse me” every twenty seconds when a family and their screaming children are running around the aisles. I also dislike running into acquaintances. I usually just avoid them, appearing to be infatuated by the nutrition facts on Honey Nut Cheerios. And I despise the check out line. It’s a doggon chore!

Food is good, but grocery shopping, not so much.

10. Having to justify your major.

Yes, I am an English major. And yes, I have a “plan” for what I’m going to do when I graduate. That’s all you need to know. Now go back to your engineering equations and what not.

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