10 Questions You Hope Your Family Doesn't Ask Over Winter Break

By Victoria Robertson on December 18, 2014

It’s finally that time of year again: finals are over and we’re all heading back home for winter break. While reuniting with the family is something we’ve been looking forward to since school started, you know the second you walk through the door you can expect to be bombarded with college related questions.

Here are 10 questions you hope your family doesn’t ask you over winter break and some suggested answers for when they’re inevitably asked anyway.

1. So … do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet?:

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As fun as this question is, I think it’s safe to say we are all tired of hearing it. While we can appreciate the fact that our family is convinced we’re going to grow old with seven to eight cats (at least two named Mittens), the constant reminder that we’re single isn’t necessary. Trust us, we know.

Suggested Response: “No, but don’t worry, I passed the pet store the other day and there’s still an abundance of cats waiting to be adopted. So my backup plan is solid.”

2. How’s school?:

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When you know the only response you’re going to get is “fine” or maybe “good,” why do you even bother asking? I think we can all just assume from now until the end of time that school is a necessary, extremely boring part of our lives that we’d rather not talk about when we finally get the chance to leave it.

Suggested Response: “School’s probably about as fun for me as work is for you.”

3. So you’ve been busy, huh?:

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We know that when you ask this you really mean why haven’t you called? Yes we’ve been busy; no we don’t always have time to call. Trust us, if we could choose, we’d be talking on the phone with relatives instead of writing yet another 12 page paper.

Suggested Response: List everything that you’ve done over the past week. Then follow up with: “so just a little busy.”

4. How were your finals?:

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Again, can we just please assume that finals are always terrible? We probably did fine on them, but that doesn’t make them any less draining. Three hours spent in an uncomfortable seat filling in answers on something far too small to be considered a desk: not exactly my idea of a good time.

Suggested Response: “Eh, not so bad. Alcohol can help you through anything, am I right?”

5. Did you make any new friends?:

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If you could just come out and say you don’t like the friends we currently have or that you don’t think we have enough friends, that would be great. Yet every year, we get called out as the Netflix-loving, friendless losers that we are.

Suggested Response: “Well, I re-watched the tenth season of “Friends,” if that’s what you mean. And trust me, Chandler and I have never been closer.”

6. Do you have any plans for break?:

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For the first time since school started in August, you have no plans whatsoever. But for some reason, your family would prefer that you did. Every year we answer “nope” and every year that answer isn’t good enough. There’s no winning.

Suggested Response: “Actually, yes. I have a few movie dates with Netflix, several sleepovers with my dog and I know my butt and the couch have been dying to get together, so hopefully I’ll have time for that as well.”

7. So what do you want to do again?:

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Every family gathering we have to explain what our career plans are. How interesting can hearing “I want to be a teacher” over and over again be? We even get bored talking about our career paths, so why you want to hear about them several times is beyond us.

Suggested Response: “I aspire to be a stay at home son/daughter.”

8. So when do you go back?:

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I’ll tell you now, the last thing we want to think about when we’re home is having to go back in January. We’re finally done with school, and I promise we won’t be thinking about it again until the first day of classes of the spring semester.

Suggested Response: “Hopefully I don’t have to.”

9. Do you go to the gym?:

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You might as well ask if we’ve gained weight, because we can pretty much promise the last time we saw the gym was the first day of school. So until a superpower develops where you can gain health benefits by watching someone else work out, it’s safe to assume that we don’t go to the gym.

Suggested Response: “I walk to class once a week … that counts right?”

10. Do you eat enough?:

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For the perpetually skinny, this question comes up at every family party. I don’t know what it is about being skinny that worries family members, but it’s always a question of whether or not you are capable of feeding yourself.

Suggested Response: “I mean, I have an entire box of macaroni and cheese, 2 bags of hot Cheetos and a case of pop a day, so really it’s a matter of what I eat rather than how much I eat.”

So hopefully these answers supply you with some entertainment at your family holiday parties, despite the continuous flow of questions you hoped wouldn’t come up.

Good luck!

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